Spikes Biggest Mistake
by kjcharmed
Summary: Spike does something that he cannot live with, killing the woman he loves. However, he does not know that he has don't something so much more than that...


The limp body lie in the shadows, blood staining the stone it was lying on. A distant candle flickered out like the soul of the person dying in the dark. In the corner slumped another body, this one was alive, but showed little signs of life. The strike of a match caused the silence to disappear for a second. The brightness of the new flame showed a clearer picture of the scene. The person in the corner was no person at all, it was a vampire. Slicked back, blonde hair was marked with fresh crimson blood, just like the hands that were struggling to light a cigarette. The vampire whimpered as the flame when out before striking up another match. Finally the cigarette was lit and it began to fill the room with a distinct smell. Now that the cigarette was taking effect he looked over at the body of his victim. He had made no killings for so long he had almost forgotten what it felt like. All of that adrenaline pumping through his veins, all of that power surging to get out. All of who he was on the brink of destruction. Putting the cigarette out on the floor beside him he forced his body up, allowing his eyes for the first time to see exactly what he had done.

The body looked surprisingly peaceful considering how it had been beaten and drained. The clear fang marks on the side of the neck were still allowing blood to flow. A once white shirt was now tainted like the impure body it was covering. A fresh tear fell from his eye as he stared at the motionless body. Then he had a flash back. He was holding the body tight not allowing it any room to move as he sank his teeth into the unscathed neck. The feeling he felt as they moaned and he drained their blood can barely be described. It felt like nothing else alive, like the first time all over again. When their blood entered his mouth and slid down his throat he could do nothing to stop himself from taking more. He told himself to savour it, that he would only take a little, then let them recover. But he couldn't stop, once he had had the first taste he was hooked. He was addicted to the blood like any drug, he was high on the essence in his mouth. Exhausting their life source made him feel like he used to. When he was new at the game, when he had ambition. But of all of the blood he could have tasted he knew that this was the only one that would have got him hook, no other would have the power to do so.

He shook the thought from his head and gazed down at the sight again, but for the first time he realised what he had truly done. He had taken a life, something he was never going to do again. Something he had promised her he would never allow himself to do. He had broken that promise, if fact he hadn't broken it, he had shattered it. The promise was in millions of pieces, like his heart as the realisation of his act hit him. He could still taste that pure, clear blood, could still smell the scent of that sweet body, he could even hear the slightest breath of air they had taken. Another flash back brought back the horror of what he had done, he had heard their last breath, he had heard their last words. Tears cascaded down to the body, fading as it mixed with the blood, he could not stop, the barrier would hold no more. Those words echoed in his mind, they would never fade, he would live with them forever now. So no matter how hard he tried to forget, to ignore what he had done there would always be a reminder. Their memory will be forever forged with his, no matter where he went, how far he travelled he will have their image scarring his soul. Their eyes were glassing over now and any part that was left in the soul of the body was disappearing before his eyes. The image blurred as he continued to cry for his loss. He had lost it all now, there was nothing left for him to take, nothing left for him to destroy. All was lost and none of it was to be ever regained again, he had made the biggest mistake of his life, one act to triumph all others.

He reached out to take their hand in his, to feel their skin against his again. He ran his fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes. Then he sat down next to the body, pulling them towards him. He smelt their familiar scent, still so pure, so fresh. He rested their head against his shoulder, looking down on them now, they looked like they were simply sleeping. They looked so peaceful, like they were in a state of dreaming, if only they were. How could he have taken the life of this person he cannot live without, why couldn't he stop? Why? She was still wearing his ring on her finger, it made him feel so much worse. The words she had said to him as she lie there knowing she was going to die made him realise how very much she must have loved him, how much he meant to her.

"_I will __**always**__ love you."_

Words he would never hear her speak again only in his dreams. She had said many times that she had wanted to die in his arms, but this is no doubt not what she had imagined. Holding her tight, kissing her goodbye he knew that at dawn the sunlight would come streaming in through the window and finish what he had started. Closing her eyes he told her that he was sorry and that he would always love her too. Death cannot keep them apart forever, he would find her again. But unknown to him he had done so much worse that he thought, for little did he know that a tiny heartbeat was beginning to fade, the heartbeat of his unborn child.


End file.
